KNOW THY ENEMY + I do not know myself. The southern sun is kissing the city low, below the belt line. They are not dishonest kisses. The sun will be around tomorrow, when this city is gone. The sun has no fear of abandonment. I am working it out, waking up early to be with my father, to be with my brother. I am trying to build on an old foundation. I am trying to fix a leaky boat, before the water rises. I feel alone still, wrapped in a blanket of oldness. I have takin off the dark glasses. I am cleaning the dust off old wounds, old fears. I feel for my friends, who have fallin victim to my ignorance. Hold me to my words, that I might speak less, and let them fall away under what I do. I am still learning how to do.
When God shows his face to me, will I recognize it? Will I have to rely on the context, or will I know Him by his gait, the way his eyes wrinkle in a smile? I am still learning how to smile like Him.
I am eating your soup, that you cooked for us. It is old now, and getting soft. It has not lost its potency, but grown more accustomed to itself, floating in its own water. I am looking up your name on the internet, to discover what you portray to those you do not know. I am hiding the clothes you left in my room, because I cannot find my own. I am talking about you in my dreams, with people I do not recognize. They are not listening.
My thoughts are not in line, and they never will be. I am a wave, that is a circle that flows in and out of this box. I cannot justify my own existence, nor the existence of God. I can only justify the hammer, and the shovel, and the soup, and my teeth. Everything else is up for grabs. Everything else is already missing or on Ebay. I do not know myself. How can I know you?